Sunny Days Keepin the Clouds Away

I had such an amazing workout today!!! Allie and I have been walking about 4.5 miles three to four days a week for the past couple weeks now, and it has really been helping. Today, we decided to jog most of it and ended up speed walking and then running (we couldn't seem to find an in-between). When I got home, I did some ab work and some push-ups. I feel so incredibly great right now! When we first started working out, I started eating a lot healthier too. With the exception of my occasional starbucks, I've done really well. I haven't felt this good in a LONG time. My goal is to lose 15-25 pounds by August. I've already lost 4 or 5, so I'm on the right track. 

Ok, now that I've shared my  joy with all of you, it's time for the good stuff. 

Since I am on the Monon Trial quite a bit nowadays, I've noticed a few different kinds of people that spend their evenings on the trail. So, I came up with a few descriptions of the people I see: 

The "I wish I was Lance Armstrong" Bike Rider:

These people have it all: The bright yellow spandex suit, the sunglasses, the helmet, the black gloves. Allie and I will be walking and then suddenly hear "ON YOU'RE LEFT" shouted from behind us. To be totally honest, it scares the shit out of me when people do that. I can hear your fucking bike coming, I don't need you to yell at me. I would be way more fucking comfortable if you just passed me silently, maybe with a polite wave. But no, you have to yell, make sure everyone knows you're there...you attention craving asshole. Lance Armstrong may be missing a ball (or two?) but at least he's not a fucking attention craving asshole....oh wait, yeah  he is. Well...fuck. At least you have that in common with him. 

The "I want people to think I'm training for the mother fucking Olympic" Roller Blader:

These fuck-tards travel in packs. There are always at least two of them, but usually more. They lean forward, with their hands behind their back like they are a fucking bird or something (what?) whatever. The fact is they look like fucking bananas on crack. They have the same gay-ass yellow suit as the "on you're left" biker, but for some reason the roller blader looks twice as retarded....probably because there's more of them. They all have their big ass safety helmets and goggles, whenever I see one I can't help but fucking laugh. They honestly make me want to grab a fucking animal, roll it up into a ball and see how many I can knock over. 

OH! Now that I think about it, I want to start putting sticks in strategically placed spots so they fall over like in Big Daddy. That would make my fucking week!!!! It would be even better if someone hid in the bushes to video tape. Any takers? 

The "I'm going faster than you" Runners. 

These people make me want to fucking punch a baby...well, maybe not a baby...um...they make me want to punch a cunt whore bitch or beer guzzling asshole (see previous post). Allie and I are speed walking, or jogging, whatever, and these fuckers come running by, sweaty as fuck, and give us the "look" as they pass. FUCK YOU! So what if you are running faster. You're probably just trying to get away from some other bitch you pissed off. And you know what? These people are always fucking by themselves. Probably because they're too fucking arrogant to have any friends. Assholes. Oh well...by August I'll be skinnier than you AND I'll have friends. So go suck a dick. 

The "Look how happy me and my boyfriend are" bitches. 

Yeah, you have a dog. So fucking what? Whenever these people are coming towards us, they always look at their dog, look at each other and then give me and Allie this retarded looking little smirk. Sure, ok, I know some people are just trying to be nice, but I can tell the difference. You, the fucking bitch who thinks she's queen of the world, don't smile, you fucking smirk like a baby taking a shit. You give us that same "bitch, you're gonna have to change my diaper later" look that infants give. Well you know what? Fuck you. You're boyfriend probably has an STD, or some crazy disease he got from fucking your precious little dog. Suck on that...whore. 

The "I think I'm so fucking hot" skateboarders. 

These are the guys that Allie and I run into in the parking lot and at the beginning of the trail. Today, we were by our cars and someone honked behind us. I turned around to find a jeep full of these cock suckers yellin at us like they had a fucking chance. They looked like they were fucking twelve!!! These fucking kids really do think they're the shit..even as they fall on their ass trying to do an "ollie" or whateverthefuck trick they're trying to do. It really is kind of amusing though, because after the board comes out from under them and they end up on the ground, they just pick up the board really quick and look around to see if anyone saw. Fucking retards, of course someone saw!!! It's fucking 80 degrees out and you see at least 3 people in every fucking direction. Then there are the ones that actually get away from the Monon Center's skate park and go on the trail. These fuckheads are the ones who howl like wolves when it gets dark. NO I'm not fucking kidding...they HOWL like fucking wolves. Fucking douche bags. 

You're not cool, you never will be. Get a fucking life. 

Ok, well I'm tired...maybe I'll pick this up later. I could write a fucking book on all the idiots I've seen in the 3 weeks or so I've been working out on that freakin trail. And that's just over THREE weeks. God, people are stupid. Seriously. Fuck society. Well, not all of society, just the fucktards that make society suck. Did that even make sense? Whatever, I wanted to be asleep an hour ago. 

Night!