La dee freakin da

I am so tired of being upset all the time. I'm tired of not trusting people. I hate the fact that I cry almost every night.

But, the thing I hate the most is that I feel like I am losing the people most important to me. My best friend's phone is turned off, so I can never talk to her anymore. My other best friend hardly ever talks to me anymore and a close friend cut me out of her life completely for no apparent reason. To make things worse, I've been arguing with the person that means most to me and it seems like we are just drifting further and further apart.

Why can't things just be normal again?

Bailey's - creamy. beige.

I need a job. Actually, I need another job. Right now I am working at a movie theater...the same movie theater I was working at when I was 16. Honestly right now I'm working there just because I need money and I was on good terms with the managers, so they took me back. I get paid minimum wage and hardly get any hours at all...so it's not exactly going to pay the insurance on my car. But, the good news is I get to see movies for free. 

A guy from a small magazine came into the theater today trying to get my manager to buy an ad. I decided to stop him as he was walking out the door and see if they were hiring at all since I'm hoping to find a job in journalism. I don't want to put the name in here because I'm sure they google their publication to see where it comes up and he wouldn't like what I have to say next. You see, this guy talked down to me, and would make these sarcastic faces whenever he mentioned the idea of me getting a paid position. He said that there were no openings and the best I might be able to get is an unpaid internship. I honestly think that he believed I was younger than I actually am, and he acted like he didn't believe that I have the experience that I do. Regardless of his rudeness, I'm still going to send them my resume and some clips and see what happens. 

Please tell me if you know of any magazines or newspapers looking for a reporter or PR representative. I really, really need the extra money! Thanks in advance! 

Oh, and if you're wondering about the title, go here: Old Greg

Puff Puff

I hate asthma. I hate that it slows me down. I hate that I have to use that stupid inhaler. I hate the feeling of my chest tightening. I hate having to gasp for breath. I hate that I feel out of shape when I walk up the stairs when in reality I just need my inhaler. 

Can you tell I'm in a bad mood? Well, not really a bad mood...more like annoyed by my health. It could be a lot worse though. In reality, even with my issues, I'm lucky. My mom knows a woman who just shaved her 4 year old daughter's head because her hair kept falling out from the chemo. I can't imagine the pain of cancer. Even closer to home, there is a man at St. Vincent who has the same problem I do...but his has lasted so much longer. He hasn't been able to keep food down since April 2007 and is now on a feeding tube. Yes, I am definitely lucky. 

Speaking of being lucky, I'm getting my new car tomorrow! It's a 2008 Honda Civic EX 4 door sedan. I'm going to get a Colts plate for it too, which I am obviously excited about. To make things even better, Dan's coming home tomorrow, which always makes my weekend great. 

The only thing I'm not looking forward to is going back to Ball State to get the rest of my things. I mean, I want to go visit, but moving out is such a pain. I got a call from my hall director today saying that I have two weeks to get my stuff out. So I guess I'll be making a trip up there for that soon. Probably in my new car! Can you tell I'm just a little bit excited about that? 

Ok, well it's back to cleaning now. Fun, right? 

Here's to the nights

So, this weekend was actually eventful, which I was pretty excited about. I went to Purdue on Friday a lot later than I wanted to, but at least I got there and was able to see Dan then instead of Saturday. We ended up going to my friend's apartment and having a few drinks....but that was nothing compared to the frat party Saturday night. Laura and I drank way more than any human should...and the next morning I remembered why I don't really do that anymore. I ended up going to the ER Sunday night because I was having trouble breathing and had some major stomach pain, and I'm just glad Dan was there to take care of me. 

Now that I'm home I miss him more than ever, but at least I know I'll see him on Friday. Plus, that's when I'm getting my car...so that will be a gooooood day. 

Anyway, I'm off to cleaning house and writing thank you's for people who came to visit me in the hospital. Hope everyone has a great night! 

Moldy Peaches

So, I know my song for yesterday was by the Moldy Peaches, so I should have written this then, but whatever. I love love love that song. It's from the Juno soundtrack, which is AMAZING. The movie is fantastic too. I can't wait until it comes out on DVD. I will definitely be in line the day it comes out. 

Anyway, I'm procrastinating. I should really be cleaning right now, but I'm tired. So, this is my break. When I am finally done cleaning, I need to clean myself up and then do one of two things: get a new car or go to Purdue. I want to do both, but I kinda want to get my brand new shiny honda civic tonight and then go to Purdue tomorrow. That would be perfect. But, it's looking like I'm going to have to wait until next week for the car. Oh well, at least I'm getting it. Right? 

I am really excited about going to Purdue though. My weekends with Dan are always the best weekends ever. I love him so much. But, if I'm going to go I better finish cleaning. 

Have a fantastic weekend!!!! 

Happy Valentines Day!

This is the first Valentines Day in awhile that I am truly 110% happy. The only thing that could make it better would be if I could actually be with Dan today. But hey, at least I get to go to Purdue to see him tomorrow! 

Honestly, I think Valentines Day is silly. Why do we need a specific day to show someone we love them? If you love somebody, shouldn't you show them every day? I guess it does help the economy in a way. I mean, last night I went out to get Dan a present and a card and all three stores I went to were packed with guys carrying flowers and teddy bears. When I went to the card section, there were tons of people trying to find just the right one. Plus every three seconds someone would open up one of those cards with sound...which are actually kinda cool. Regardless, I have to admit that I was amazed by how many people were out at 8:00 last night scrambling to find a last minute present for that special someone. I guess that's how people, including me, are though...always waiting until the last minute. 

Speaking of the last minute...I don't think I have ever procrastinated on anything as much as I have on withdrawing from Ball State. It's really not something I want to do. I've only been gone for a couple weeks and I already miss it like crazy. I miss the people, the independence and hell, I even miss the classes. I'm tired of sitting around all day doing absolutely nothing. Now, I would go out and find a job...but right now I don't have a car. So, from 7-4 I'm stuck at home, and even if I wanted to go do something, I wouldn't have anyone to do it with. See, 99% of my friends are away at school, so until I get a car, or spring break comes, I will sit here, Monday through Friday, doing nothing. At least I get to see Dan on weekends. That's what's keeping me sane. 

Anyway, Happy Valentines Day!! 

There's no place like home

Yes, I am technically home right now; but to be perfectly honest, I feel like Muncie is home too. Right now, all of my friends are away at school, most of them at Ball State or Purdue. I miss everyone, and I miss the freedom of being on my own. I honestly didn't think I would miss BSU so much, and especially this fast. 

Right now, I am just so ready to be back in Muncie. I only have two friends here at home during the school year, and they aren't even  the friends I thought they were. In fact, I was over there the other night and found out they talk about me behind my back like high schoolers. They apparently don't trust me either. The whole thing reminded me of high school, a time I wish I could forget. I seriously thought most of this ridiculous drama was over with. Oh well, I guess some people never grow up and can't be satisfied unless they talk shit about others. 

Well, that's all I got. Goodnight! 

It's been awhile...SUPER BLOG

So, I haven't written anything in awhile...but I have a good excuse. 

Starting about three and a half weeks ago, I started having trouble keeping food down. By trouble, I mean NOTHING stayed down. After this went on for about a week, I went to the doctor who wanted me to get a catscan the next day. The catscan, which I got done on a Tuesday, showed gall stones, so on Wednesday I got my gall bladder removed. Other than pain from the surgery, I was fine for about two days following the surgery. Then, on Saturday, my food stopped staying down. I went to the ER on Sunday, and they couldn't figure it out so they let me go home. I felt awful on Monday, so I called the surgeon that did my procedure and he decided to admit me to the hospital. I ended up staying there for eleven days. This past Thursday, the doctors ran out of ideas and gave up. They said "you can throw up at home just as well as you can throw up here." 

At this point, I have missed so much school that it would be virtually impossible for me to catch up, so I had to drop out for the semester. Right now I am still pretty sick, so I still can't work. But, when I'm better, I will get a job and then take some classes over the summer to try and catch up. 

Now for some other, less boring topics: 

DAN'S BIRTHDAY:

Other than me being insanely sick on his birthday weekend, it went really well. He really enjoyed the "special surprise" that some of you know about, and he was DEFINITELY surprised. We went to the Purdue vs. Illinois basketball game, and it was actually a lot of fun. Personally, I'm more of a football girl, so I was really surprised when I had more fun at the basketball game. The student section is great, it's nearly impossible to sit with them and not get into the game. 

I do feel bad about Dan having to take care of me so much. He even went out to Walmart at 2 a.m. to get me soup and gatoraide. He's such a great guy, I am so, so lucky. 

SUPER BOWL:

YES! YES! YES!!!! NEW ENGLAND CHOKED!!!! 

Though I had to watch the game from my hospital bed, I have to say that it cheered me up...A LOT. I was pretty disappointed that the drugs knocked me out for the first half, but at least I saw the most important part. The second half was amazing, and I am still giddy about the Giant's win. To be completely honest, I absolutely HATE the Patriots. They are overrated cheaters, plain and simple. If they had won the super bowl and had the perfect season, I might have jumped out of my window. Actually, no I wouldn't, because then I wouldn't be around to see the Colts beat them next season. 

Currently, I am watching the pro bowl...you know, the game that Tom Brady and Randy Moss dropped out of because they weren't man enough to be seen after their loss. Seriously, how immature can you get? Oh well, at least it adds to the Patriots stereotype, which includes but is not limited to: assholes, sore losers, sore winners, liars and cheaters. 

Well, I think that's about it for now. Since I'm no longer in the hospital, I'll be on here a lot more. Have a great week!