Customer Service Can Kiss My Ass

Holy mother of god people are stupid. I took my iPod in to be fixed a week or two ago and I FINALLY got it back today. Since it hadn't been working for at least 6 months, I was pretty excited about getting it back. So I went into the store, happier than a fat kid who just finished off a whole chocolate cake, and told the guy I was there to pick up my iPod. After asking me to repeat myself at least twice, he gave me a confused look and went over to the computer, where he began talking to himself. After staring at the computer for at least 5 minutes he called over to the other guy working and said "Hey! If it says we've called them once, does that mean it's in?" 

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! No sir, they called me to tell me that it WASN'T ready. Why the fuck else would they call me?! Ugh. So then the guy goes to the back, comes out, looks at me like a retard watching teletubbies, and goes to the back again. 

When he finally comes back out, he hands me the iPod and as I look at it, I realize that it looks like it was fixed by a demon cat. This thing had more scratches on it than a guy after fucking that chick up there. WHAT THE HELL?! 

When I made a subtle comment on how it had been damaged the guy just looked at me like I was a fucking alien and without saying anything, began working on the computer and talking to himself again. GREAT. 

So I stood there, waiting for this douche bag to figure out how to print a fucking receipt and ignoring my increasingly more obvious comments on how my iPod looked like shit now. Fucking cock sucker. I hate people. Seriously. 

On a totally different note...

I want to race go-karts. Anyone else in? I'll kick all of your asses with my mad driving skills. Even better...we'll play real life mario kart. I'll bring the banana peels. 

Cheers! 

Dance Monkey!!!

Yeah, the title has no relevance to this at all. I don't really care. To be honest, I watched Curious George with the kids I was babysitting for on Saturday and it just really made me want a monkey...but a cartoon one...that likes playing peek-a-boo and paints pictures on my wall while Jack Johnson plays in the background....

Aaaaannnyyyyway....I'm bored as fuck right now. I should really go to bed. But I'm dumb and am going to stay up late anyway. I really don't have much to write about...so I'm going to keep going with the monkey thing and why I think having a pet monkey would be the fucking coolest thing ever. (and NO this is not going to be a rip off of the Dane Cook joke...even though having a monkey to fight with would be amazing...) 

Why having a monkey would be badass

1. Random dance parties: Think about it...you always see monkey's in movies dancing around in a little hat and vest with a big crowd of people around them. So instead picture this...you put the monkey in a fuzzy purple hat and elton john glasses, turn on the music and party it up. Now THAT would be a fuckin pimp monkey!!! Then when all of your friends came over, they'd be like "woah! no one here can dance better than monkey!" And then everyone would start having dance off's against monkey, and monkey would always win. Amazing. 

2. Protection: You know the evil monkey in Chris' closet on Family Guy? Fuck yeah. I would train my monkey to go fucking apeshit (haha) on anyone I didn't want in my house. When the person first came in, the monkey would just jump out from some random spot and do the evil point and stare. If that didn't work, he would fucking attack and beat the hell out of the guy...with a machete. 

Ok wow I'm tired...I'm finishing this tomorrow....even though it's retarded. Whatever. You've read this far already...maybe that means you'll come back and read the rest of my idiotic ramblings. Who knows. 

Cheers!