Dance Monkey!!!

Yeah, the title has no relevance to this at all. I don't really care. To be honest, I watched Curious George with the kids I was babysitting for on Saturday and it just really made me want a monkey...but a cartoon one...that likes playing peek-a-boo and paints pictures on my wall while Jack Johnson plays in the background....

Aaaaannnyyyyway....I'm bored as fuck right now. I should really go to bed. But I'm dumb and am going to stay up late anyway. I really don't have much to write about...so I'm going to keep going with the monkey thing and why I think having a pet monkey would be the fucking coolest thing ever. (and NO this is not going to be a rip off of the Dane Cook joke...even though having a monkey to fight with would be amazing...) 

Why having a monkey would be badass

1. Random dance parties: Think about it...you always see monkey's in movies dancing around in a little hat and vest with a big crowd of people around them. So instead picture this...you put the monkey in a fuzzy purple hat and elton john glasses, turn on the music and party it up. Now THAT would be a fuckin pimp monkey!!! Then when all of your friends came over, they'd be like "woah! no one here can dance better than monkey!" And then everyone would start having dance off's against monkey, and monkey would always win. Amazing. 

2. Protection: You know the evil monkey in Chris' closet on Family Guy? Fuck yeah. I would train my monkey to go fucking apeshit (haha) on anyone I didn't want in my house. When the person first came in, the monkey would just jump out from some random spot and do the evil point and stare. If that didn't work, he would fucking attack and beat the hell out of the guy...with a machete. 

Ok wow I'm tired...I'm finishing this tomorrow....even though it's retarded. Whatever. You've read this far already...maybe that means you'll come back and read the rest of my idiotic ramblings. Who knows. 

Cheers!