So, I've been observing lately. Yes, observing...and thinking. And even though right now I am perfectly content being single and really have no desire to be in a relationship, I couldn't help but think about some of the qualities that I look for in guys...both good and bad - along with some rules I've come up with for myself. And hey, since journalism is my thing, I decided to write about it! Thrilling, yes? So here we go...
1. Must be interested in sports - especially football
I know...a weird thing to come from a chick, right? But seriously, I am such a guy when it comes to sports. If you know me, you know that I love my Indianapolis Colts through thick and thin...and that I can probably kick your ass in trivia. I don't miss a game, and when I watch, I tend to yell obscenities and occasionally throw things. Though the Colts are my first love, I also follow the Cubs, and, thanks to my ex, am a fan of Purdue sports.
So yeah, that last part kind of sounded like a dating profile. Freakin A. But basically my point here is that even though I think like a guy when it comes to sports, I dont want to fucking be dating someone who wants to watch a movie or go do something when the game is on. Because hey, I am the fucking girl in the relationship, and I don't want to feel like my boyfriend is a bitch. If I wanted that, I'd be a lesbo.
2. Avoid frat boys
Now, don't get me wrong, I know that not ALL frat guys are bad, but the majority are the typical stereotype. I've always known that frat guys aren't usually the best boyfriends, so when my ex decided to join one, I was a bit nervous. And what do ya know...he's my ex now. HA! So yeah...frat boys = too in love with their "brothers" and alcohol to put any effort into a relationship. Until someone proves me wrong, this is how I will feel. Close minded? Probably. But whatevah, whatevah, I do what I want! So fuck you!
3. Must be at least willing to listen to country...but preferably enjoy it.
Yes, I like country. A lot. Hell, this will be my third year going to see Kenny Chesney, and the only reason I'm not seeing anyone else in that genre is because I'm a broke ass college student. Now, if I'm willing to surprise my boyfriend and take him to see one of his favorite metal bands, he should be willing to go see Rascal Flatts or Brad Paisley or Kenny Chesney or whatever with me. I think that's reasonable, right? Besides, country boys are hot.
4. I like smart boys.
Yeah, I've dated my share of dumbasses. TRUST ME. Hell, my parents had to explain to my first "serious" boyfriend what circumcision was....and he was freaking 18 years old at the time!! Granted...this was the same one who asked if I thought Bill Polian was rich. Fucking tard. And if you don't know who Polian is, please...don't ever talk to me. I've also dated my share of guys that aren't going to school, or are in school but are "undecided," or even better, have picked a major simply because it's easy and gives them more time to drink. Why did I date these guys you ask? Well, fuck if I know! But I'm most definitely avoiding them from now on.
I want to find someone who has picked a solid major and knows what they want to do with it. Granted, I'm not even 100% sure what I want to do, but I'm trying like hell to figure that out so I can still graduate in a reasonable time. So please, get your shit together. I'm not saying guys should have their whole lives figured out...but they should at least be putting some effort into it. Seriously.
5. Fucking talk!
I'm pretty sure that most of my friends would describe me as a talkative, outgoing person. So, I need to be with someone who can hold a fucking conversation. Seriously, after a good 5 minutes of only getting "yeah" or "cool" as a response, I start to feel like a retard trying to have a conversation with a recording. Ok, stop and picture that for a second...it gave me a good chuckle. Anyway, I understand that some people are just quiet. That's fine. I just wouldn't be able to date one of them. Haha.
6. Don't be fucking serious all the time
I am someone who is rarely serious. I like to act retarded and get weird stares. Life is just more fun when you stop caring about what other people think. I used to be worried about people thinking that I was weird or stupid...but now, I've decided that as long as they don't think I'm a bad person, life is good. But if someone thinks that I'm a bad person, that means I've probably done something to deserve that opinion, which basically means I fucked up. So, let loose, be silly, make weird noises and quote youtube poop in public. Speaking of...I'm so hungry I could eat cum. Hahahaha!!
7. Must enjoy drinking...though not necessarily drinking heavily.
I'm a college student. I'm about to turn 21. Well, the turning 21 part doesn't really mean anything, since I tend to find alcohol regardless...but whatever. My point is, I want to enjoy my time in school. I like going to parties, and I like my alcohol. Granted, I generally don't get shit faced drunk anymore, it's still fun to hang out and have a few. The guy that I'm dating must also be aware and comfortable with the fact that I can probably out-drink him, and if so, I will make endless jokes about it. So grow some fucking balls.
8. Must give a shit.
Seriously, this seems like a given, right? But I've dated guys who really didn't care how my day went or if I was upset about something. I am a girl, which means I can occasionally get emotional. Therefore, I need someone to listen to me so I can just get it off of my chest and move on. This is where the boyfriend should come in. My thought is, since my roommates deal with me bitching about the boyfriend, the boyfriend should have to deal with me bitching about everything else. That's fair, right?
9. Avoid cheap ass guys.
Ok, so here's how I feel about the money situation...it should be EQUAL. Or, at least close to it. I think that girls are fucking selfish and retarded when they think the guy should pay for EVERYTHING. I mean seriously...he's probably in college too...which mean's he's probably near broke to begin with. If he pays for everything, he'll just end up completely broke within a couple months, which means the chick will end up getting upset because either a) she's paying for everything or b) he can't afford to take her anywhere. Stupid bitches. So, I say the best solution is for things to be relatively equal. I know, fucking genius, right? But here's my issue...I tend to find guys who hear this little theory of mine and think "cool! That means I don't have to pay for shit!" Alright dumbass, not what I said. Seriously.
10. Be fucking truthful!
Yeah, yeah, I know...everyone lies sometimes. But seriously, the one thing that drives me insane and that really pisses me off is when I get lied to. I am someone who tries my best to be as truthful as possible at all times - and I think I do a pretty damn good job of it! So please, return the favor.
Ok, that's all for now. Though I'm not necessarily looking for ALL of those qualities, I think that they are pretty reasonable. Then again, I could be totally wrong...but since I'm not looking for anyone right now anyway...it doesn't fucking matter. Whatever. I'm tired.
Squadalah! I am off!
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